Unity Church of Castro Valley
Sunday Message for May 16, 2010
The Power of Our Spoken Word
This month we are discussing our faculty of Power. It is important that we know that our words have power. We can use powerful words, as Jesus did, to help heal and bless ourselves and others. But we need to choose our words with care and be conscious about what we are doing with our words.a
Jesus knew the power of his words. He never spoke in doubt or uncertainty. You never hear him say, "Well, I'll try," or "Gee, I'm not sure I can heal that disease."
No, he spoke as one who had authority on Earth as well as in the Heavens. When he went to see the synagogue leaders' dead daughter he told the mourners, "Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.b" He never talked as if anything, even death, had any power over him.
What have you accepted as having power over you?
SPEAK WITH LOVE & WISDOM
We can learn to speak not only with Power, but using our faculties of Love and Wisdom. Because I know that you have all experienced words that have inspired you, and you have experienced words that discouraged you. Words have brought love to people and words have ruined relationships. Words can convey truth or lies. Words can south your hurts or they can wound you. Words are used to praise others and to slander them. What use do you want to make of your words?
Dr. Mark P. Cosgrove, who wrote The Amazing Body Human, God's Design for Personhood says: "In all of the animal kingdom, human bodies stand unique. It would seem that our bodies are poorly adapted for survival. We have very little hair compared to most animals, so our bodies are unprotected from cold weather. We are not particularly well-adapted for swimming, or climbing trees, or fighting. We have no natural weapons, like claws or sharp teeth. According to Dr. Mark Cosgrove, humans are the only creatures who cannot drink and breathe at the same time.
This would seem to be a poor way to adapt to our environment. But our airways and throats are constructed for a very special function: speech. No other creature can speak, sing, or make the wide variety of noises that the human being can. We are the only creatures with the specialized airways and other apparatus that allow for speech."c
We are the only creation on this planet that has words - verbal symbols that communicate our thoughts and feelings.
OUR SUBCONSCIOUS RECORDS ALL WE SAY
So whatever symbols or words that you choose to use, remember that your subconscious records all you think and say. And even more, it believes what we think and say.
It's so important to be conscious and aware of the way we speak about our life, about others, about our body, and about our work. Because our subconscious is listening, taking notes, and accepting the "programming" we send into this realm of our minds. Our subconscious is a recorder that is always on, and it plays back what is placed on it.
Our subconscious takes everything in a literal sense, it doesn't pick up on subtleties or irony. So when we keep repeating (or affirming) some statement with a lot of emotion, we might want to take a look at it and ask ourselves, "Is this something I actually want to have take place in my life experience?"
Jan Tincher, a Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer writes: "Words are powerful! Sometimes you don't realize that when you are talking to yourself, silently or out loud, your words are impressed in your mind. When something is impressed on your mind enough times, sooner or later, it is brought into your experience."d
For example: Do you know someone who always says "So-and-so gives me a pain in the back side!" (Or words to that effect.) Stick around that person long enough and you most likely will see that he is having back problems, in most cases, lower.
Why? You ask. What was the guy telling his brain every time someone upset him? Narrow it down to what is the usual focus point in his ranting and raving? His backside. It doesn't take a genius to realize his continual programming is working - don't let that be you.
Watch what you say. If you have to say something to your brain, at least make it something that won't hurt as much. "That guy gives me a pain in my little pinkie!" At least you've narrowed it down to something that doesn't keep you from walking, sitting, and lying down painlessly. And while you're at it, why don't you have it go somewhere other than to the pinkie in your dominant hand. Like: "That guy gives me a pain in my little left pinkie!" There. By now, you're laughing. It's ridiculous, isn't it? But you know what? Maybe some of the anger left. That would be terrific.
How about this? Do you call yourself stupid, or clumsy, or lazy, or weak, or afraid? If you do, are you beginning to realize that you are programming yourself, and, in effect, issuing a self-fulfilling prophecy? Even if you use such words about yourself in supposed jest, your brain is listening. So, if you do, STOP IT NOW! Become aware of what you say and think, of what you are programming into your life tomorrow and on, into the future!
So, just to make sure you understand, if, for example, you make a mistake, and you call yourself stupid, what have you done? You've programmed stupid to show up again, because you've told your brain you are stupid. What? You didn't think it worked that way? Well, let's look at it again. You called yourself stupid, now the next day a test of some sort comes up. What is going to suddenly make you smart? Nothing. What is going to make you stupid? The fact that you told your brain you were, and your brain is remembering it. What can you expect your brain to do, EXCEPT what you've told it?
How about this. Why don't you say instead, "I made a mistake." Everyone makes mistakes, and most mistakes can be corrected. Making a mistake does not make you stupid, it makes you human. So when you feel stupid, don't compound the problem by saying you're stupid. Alleviate the problem by saying you made a mistake. Keep it open maybe, by adding "but tomorrow I'll do better." That helps you look forward to tomorrow. Let this axiom work in your favor. Good, bad, or indifferent, the more you think it, the more you say it, the more you ATTRACT it! Do you want it in your life? You make your own future. You make the decision."
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT AND IT WILL GO AWAY?
Some people have mistaken this teaching to mean that they should go into denial about what they feel, or about what is showing up in their lives. They think that if they don't talk about it; it will go away.
They end up telling people to never talk about their fears, anger, or sadness. That is how they have interpreted "being careful with our words." They will tell you, "That's negative. Don't give any power to it. Just say positive words."
But the basic psychology of humans doesn't work that way. We would like to think that our bad feelings will go away if we never talk about them, but we know that is not the case. In fact, those feelings will often build up, eat away at us, and may come out as ulcers, rashes, headaches, or other physical problems.
So how do we use the power of words to heal, free, empower, and care for ourselves and others?
Well, Myrtle Fillmore did not deny that she had tuberculosis or that she was weak and sick, she merely denied that it had any power over her, and healed it. And then she went on to heal many, many more people by teaching them the truth of themselves.
FINDING THE WORDS
We need to be able to find the right descriptive words for our feelings. Sometimes we say, "I just can't find the words to tell you how I feel." It's important to know what those feelings are and to "find the words" to understand and help ourselves.
When doing counseling with couples about to get married I stress how important it is to communicate how they feel, what they expect, and to understand what their partner feels and expects.
Telling of a fiance who had left her for another, a young woman said dramatically, "He's killing me. He's just killing me!" These are real feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness and loss. The feelings need to be acknowledged, honored, shared, and understood. The woman did that and, because of a good listener, came to release the feelings and realize that though her feeling of loss was intense, she knew that her statement, "He's killing me!" was not true. He couldn't "kill" her. He didn't have that power. She owned her own power (as we learned in the lesson May 2, "Own Your Own Power"). She started using her power of decree more truthfully and realistically, finding her words, "He chose to live his life differently than the way we had planned and vowed to do. He chose to marry someone else. It hurts, but I am healing and will live my life based on my deep power to recover, survive and thrive. I am alive. I will survive!"
The positive words of hope, optimism and empowerment did not come by ignoring her feelings and just forcing herself to say, "I'm fine. I'm wonderful. I release him and bless him." Her more hopeful affirmation of herself and her power to overcome the loss came by feeling and healing the loss. Then she turned more deeply optimistic as she accepted herself and others and grew through the experience.
When we do this, we don't just "make" our affirmations, but we live them powerfully and authentically. Our words have great power, then, as they emerge from deep convictions born out of our feeling and healing.
Ten Tips on Using the Positive Power of the Spoken Word
I couldn't find the author, but found these eTen Tips on using the positive power of the spoken word on the web. The first is:
Practice Compliments: Give unasked for praise for an action or some quality you genuinely admire in another person. Give it without reservation or a 'rider' attached. (A rider undoes or qualifies the compliment, robbing it of its power. Example: 'That dress looks nice on you. It makes you look smaller.') A true compliment is a gift. It says to the receiver you see and appreciate them for who they are and comes without strings attached. It is given freely.
Read Aloud to a Child: Choose a story-book to share. Settle in and enjoy yourself. Reading aloud to a child has many positive benefits. For the child it will help develop reading skills and imagination but most importantly, it is a gift of your time and energy. It says you are valuable and worthy of my attention. For you, the reader, the quality of your relationship is enhanced.
Practice Positive Self-talk: As you go about your day's activities be conscious of how you are talking to yourself in your mind. Find aspects you can genuinely positively comment on. Be specific. The more specific you are the less likely you will counter your positive comment with a negative rejoinder. Practice graciously accepting your own compliments.
Make a list of Positive Power Words or Positive Inspirational Phrases: Write them out. Post them where you will see them. Say them out loud.
Practice Responding rather than Reacting: The difference? To react is to speak without thought or to blurt. To respond implies conscious thought. In responding, we make a choice. We think before we open our mouths. To help create the space needed for conscious speech, count to 5 before speaking. This may seem odd but in an emotionally charged situation, the wait gives us time to consider what it is we really want to say.
Learn to say, 'I'm sorry.' The quicker we own our mistakes and acknowledge the effect they've had on others, the less likely they are to turn into raging monsters with a life of their own. 'I'm sorry', genuinely said is one of the most important of the ten tips on using the positive power of the spoken word.
Learn to say and receive, 'I forgive you.' If we accept or give a sincere apology, the sting of the offence is removed. Sometimes we carry blame, guilt, or anxiety for years because we assume the hurt caused by our actions lives on. If we'd been told we were forgiven, the burden would have been released. Like 'I'm Sorry', 'I forgive you' is a top ranked tip from the ten tips on using the positive power of the spoken word collection.
Collect New Words: The more words you have in your vocabulary, the more precisely you can express yourself.
Listen to Inspiring Literature read by expert readers. Get audio books for your car or ipod. Fill your mind with positivity expressed in the best of language.
Practice expressing genuine gratitude for all the good in your life. Thank-you is simple to say.
Barbara Bergen wrote this poem called Ocean Within. That illustrates the power of the word and how it changes us:
In the vast eternal ocean
of thoughts that roam our mind,
is the endless flow of passing thoughts
of each and every kind.
We let go of outworn thoughts
we choose not to believe,
then embrace the new ideas
we willingly receive.
Silently the ebb and flow
continues endlessly,
moving us from who we were
to who we want to be.f
a Twelve Powers In You David & Gay Lynn Williamson and Rbt Knapp
b Matthew 9:24
c The Amazing Body Human, God's Design for Personhood Dr. Mark P. Cosgrove
d Jan Tincher, Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer
e http://www.write-out-loud.com/ten-tips-on-using-positive-power-of-the-spoken-word.html
f Ocean Within Barbara Bergen
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